2019ŚĻī1śúą15śó•

I was thinking to find a part-time job to cover my life expense a little bit, and I did. It just something like waitress. I don’t know and I just think I could get the tips right away. Yes you can say cash.

It should be fine I think since it’s not bothering me my full time’s. To be honest, however, I was a little bit embarrassed about going to meet the owner because I thought I would never have to do this again in my life ever.

Anyway it’s not a big deal. It just brings some memories up to my mind.

Last night I just uploaded a set of photos which were photographed in 2017 to my portfolio. It was a day of very last-minute fall, around Nov 28,2017. I was still working overnight in Walmart during that time, always shuttling by bus route 1 my apartment and work. Every morning I just got on the bus in Richmond and Oxford, going through Huron St. And then the but just slightly turns into Regent St, Regent St in Waterloo’s, in Colborne’s and in Mainland’s. After passing Regent and Mainland’s, the bus just turn left into William St, which is a bid turn, going back to Huron St. Next it stops in Adelaide and Huron, where a Tim Hortons is as well.

I had seen the changes of sceneries in those streets for days, from fall to winter. That are the beautiful moments  during that tough period, also my lifetime. Seeing the leaves of trees have been changing the colour day by day, you had already sensed you were just likely to leave for soon. Those fallen leaves just like the final gift the city gave me.

I can’t exactly remember how was the day, but I do still remember that I had told myself for few days about bringing the camera to Regent St, otherwise leaves wouldn’t stayed long even they were lying on the streets for days already.

I saw my instant camera with a Tim Hortons cup were in my shots of the film camera. What’s more , the first shot of the set is the view of my apartment. Then I pretty sure I went back home first and took the gears out for shooting. Meanwhile, I bought a medium French Vanilla, which was no mark on.

It was a shiny day, and a bit windy. I still remember I was standing in the street without doing anything, but just letting the sunlight spread all over my face. Hair was flying over, eyes were closing over, and the cars, were stopping over. Yes there are lots of stop signs and I pretty sure drivers love them. So do I.

When I was processing the uploading, I kind of messed up since it has been 1 year from my last update in Feb, 2018. I just couldn’t know how came my “new adding” wasn’t under one of my galleries instead of popping up on the main bar. Finally I found out. And… I could still saw the words that I wrote in Mar 2017, when I first build this portfolio. I said:

Basically every project is(was) created when I am(was) a photography student in Fanshawe College. I think they are probably the best work I’ve done if… if I had no chance to be involved in this industry anymore. When you love something, go to know it. I want to own it but it’s not that I can control. Never. Anyway I like photography. It has been part of my life for long. I feel grateful that I keep in touch with it in every single day in past two years. I don’t feel sorry if I couldn’t make you be more important in my future life because I am(was) so so so happy now(before). (March 1, 2017)

I have been asking myself about a question in recent days since the situation isn’t stable . It’s always unstable I know. Do you regret? Do you regret that you gave up the study for BBA instead learning photography and just got a diploma?

What the answer just popped up at that moment was… I couldn’t deny the truth that I couldn’t get the job right away and I have to do others for living. I couldn’t deny that I had been upset and anxious for few months. However, I couldn’t deny that if I didn’t learning photography, I would ask myself the same question when I couldn’t find the job related to BBA whatever.

I still remember that the overnight job requires the reference. I sent an email to my coordinator, asking if he could be my reference for my overnight job. He didn’t reply me with yes/or, but sent me a job post which is to be a photographer in Backcomb, Whistler. I didn’t sent the resume until January 2018, which is late since they only need ppl for from Dec to April in next year. And… It’s the other side of this country. I wouldn’t know if I really have that courage to go even they really considered me. I didn’t even want to move to Toronto at that moment.¬†I had thousands of expectations of my life there. Just like…… I was thinking to buy a TV from my friend, watching Neflix after work every night.

The fallen leaves have buried my fantasy and…..hopelessness.

Finger crossed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Films

 

DAYS

We went to church on Monday.

The professor told us in most Canadian church weddings,

bride’s mother will light the candles and then bride and ¬†groom will grab one of ¬†candles in each side , lighting the centre candle.)

I finished my last day work at college on last  Friday.

From that moment on Friday, my green keyring holds only one key.

He’s alone.

So do I.

I was late for work again last Tuesday.

Just few minutes.

The room ‘s light was off but the music from computer is on.

They ¬†pretend the didn’t know I was late : )

But they used to remind me do not be late for work. Always.

Get your coffee and bagel before 8 am.

I asked them if I could come at 9am on Friday

I want to make sure I won’t be late in my last day.

And I didn’t.

But the time sheet they didn’t change.

And then I told them .

I signed a lease today.

I am thinking to have a small studio in my future one bedroom apartment.

I  used to  think having my own business is far away from me

right now still

But just give  myself a chance

want to close to what I care

-end-

1997

Have you realized that it has been 20 years since 1997. The guest speaker today was one of the judge in this year’s image competition. What is more interesting is that he was our Fanshawe photography student 20 years ago.

He mentioned a beautiful word called “analog” today. It was just impressed if you heard that how they make the “key line” for their photos when they mounted on the matte boards. Anyway I want to say I was confused yesterday because I did hot mounted and cold mounted together in the same day? And I don’t know how I can finish them… I think I messed up already and I need to go to youtube to learn again soon T_T But I’ve learned a lot from the setting up the gallery show.

Oh.. come back to today’s guest speaker. He’s pretty real person and said what he wants to say. ūüôā That won’t make me feel I want to know his work more. Instead of it, he brought his works created in 20yrs before. From B/W to colour, below average to excellent.

I just feel very cherished that there is a person keeps pieces photos for 20 years, and they look so well, clean and no damage. Don’t you get that? It’s much more worthy then many beautiful words.

 

“It’s free critic. No one will tell you what’s wrong or good.

When you apply a job, only YES or NO. No reason.”

 

He also mentioned his study experience in Fanshawe College.

 

” When I was Fanshawe, it(photography)’s a full analog program.

After that, everything has changed to digital.

My film experience is done.”

 

How many photographers gave up at that point?

 

” I really lucky that we had a teacher call.. .

He let everything done in camera.

If off colour, put the gel on there window.

If there is dust, clean it. Not edit in digital(photoshop?).”

 

” If you really want to be a truly expert in your field,

you need to understand all the related fields.

Like you have to know how to clean product, if you were a

commercial (photographer).

you need to know how to stylize, if you were in interior

design photography.

And make up. What if the make up artist didn’t come out, can

assistant help that?”

 

” Because understand her(his) market,

you can get consistent business.”

 

I really like his architecture and automotive work. Because I like these two kinds of photography as well. p I also like portrait. But

 

” Do you guys like portrait? I hate it.

Because I can’t move (them) around.

I can move products around.

You don’t know their(people) personalities.”

 

” 3 days work(film) right now probably only 10 mins capture(Digital).”

 

I always think film will be more and more important again in our photography field. Because digital makes it become simple and easy. I mean compare to film. If your really liked photography, you will probably be involved in film. At least I am think about it. But everything has to be step by step. Digital is a tool for me to learn and practice, and then I can enter the real photography world. I mean, less business, more art. : )

Last night was so quickly. It probably because I went there late. It’s the first time I have my photo be hung up in the gallery. Probably the last time as well. I remembered that day a young female judge wanted to rescore because she thought it was such a beautiful scene.And those other judge said ” It just need more editorial. We’ve seen so many photos of northern light. They are so amazing. This just has to be emphasized. Above average is the score I want to give.”

I was so happy at that moment even it just above average(76) but not good(80). I remember my first year I only got 52 and 69. I don’t have 3rd year. I just hope that I have many many years after school that I still keep in touch with it, even not that kind involve in this photography. You know life just can’t be as perfect as we want. What I can do is that choosing a way that I can accept.

That day there was a fine art student came to for print his photos. I was always thinking I am going to learn fine art or interior design after 3 year work. Just like learning photography. Do what I like but do not expect that it can be your tool for earn your living. Will I be more happy and comfortable to spend time or call it “invest money” in these fields? Yes.

Wow, do I mean that I will be in london for 10 year. It’s fine, 1997 is 2o years before. p

Good night.

March 9, 2017

-end-

2C 1S

My bus is coming, talk to you later. (9.22pm)

 

“I always shoot in shallow depth of field. Really really shallow. “

“I like to use what is already there.”

“What are you going to expect the photographer to do? Do you want me to tell you what to do or you want me step back.”

“Practicing, practicing. Learning on you own time. Be confident in front of clients.”

The guest speaker today is a female photographer and really know s about film.

It makes me feel kind of confused because she kind of talked about what I don’t know.

But she makes me feel interested gradually.

To be honest I wasn’t focused ¬†first but ¬† ¬†I ¬†like what she talked about because she is not afraid to share her ¬†everything to us. Even some business secrete.

I remember she said ” I am not ¬†nervous about my equipments as mot people like. I don’t mind give it to you.

I trust you.”

then she passed her medium format camera to a person.

Just want to memorize what she said today.

It’s always happened that you see ¬†a scene you like.

You photograph it then see through  histogram,change setting.

Photographing again.

Blur

Change focal point, shoot again.

Still not sure.

When I  come back and see the files from laptop.

The last one not always the best one.

Yes it’s sharp but just can’t get the ¬†same angle as the moment you like at the beginning.

I hope I can do better and better.

“Film makes me be more in moment.”

-end-

I told you I am gonna talk to you now. ūüôā

Good night.(12.01am)

Please Play Again.

Tomorrow I am going to be the volunteer as a Score Tabulator for Image Competition 2017.

I accept everything the god gives me.

I am happy to learn photography in Canada.

It’s enough.

The reason why I like moon is because that it is not alway full /

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                                                                          -Good Luck-

1 7/8”

I learned how to cut matte board on Friday.

Professor said we are probably going to make the matte boards for Gallery show soon.

I was thinking how magical if I made the matte board for my own artwork and

hang it in the gallery ?

Black & White are cut by my professor.

The light grey one…. is messed up already.

Fortunately the last one dark grey one is fine.

This Friday is Image comp due.

Those three photos are from four places.

I’m not going to tell you how 3 photos come from 4 places

d;

But I want to tell you where are they from:

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London ON

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Toronto

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Yellowknife

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a Secret Spot Near the Lake of Two Rivers *>.<*

– end –